I Want My Kids to Fail

Reblogged from Rochester SAGE - Supporting Advanced & Gifted Education:

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

The pupil who is never required to do what he cannot do, never does what he can do.

Read more… 690 more words

Must read!

Let’s play tag!

Thanks Tom Baker for tagging me. To tell you the truth, I enjoy answering questions. It makes me reflect on things I wouldn’t have thought about and it helps me discover new things about myself. I’m a bit shy to approach some of the bloggers I follow. I might break the rules and tag less than 11 people. Some of the blogs I follow aren’t personal blogs too. I’m pretty sure they won’t answer the questions. Anyway, I am doing this just for fun! I’m also curious about what the bloggers I follow think.

This game has rules:

1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Here are the questions Tom asked:

1. If you were forced to change the name of your blog what would you change it to?

** I don’t know. I lack creativity. Maybe “Plain Janie”

2. How would you spend today if you knew it was your last day to live?

** In the morning, I would write letters to all my loved ones. For lunch, I will eat steak and drink a bottle of red wine. I’ll have cheesecake for dessert. After lunch, I find a place to perform a song and dance number. For dinner, I will eat ceasar salad, foie gras, grilled salmon with mashed potatoes, then drink a bottle of ice wine. For dessert, I will eat leche flan (egg pudding). At night when I’m about to die, I will lie down and pray to God.

3. What is you most guilty pleasure?

** Spending a fortune on food and watching Japanese cartoons.

4. What is your most favorite smell?

** The smell of clean bed sheets and the smell of books!

5. Who would you most want to interview on your blog?

** Among the people who have already passed, I’d have liked to interview my grandfather from my father side. I want to hear his success story. I also want to interview a blind surfer named Derek Rabelo. I want to know how he overcame his fears despite his disability.

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?

** People who seem to have permanent frowns and who talk like they argue never fail to piss me off.

7. What is your favorite word in the English language?

** Money.

8. What is your favorite word in another language?

** Mademoiselle.

9. What do your favorite pair of underwear look like?

** Plain black.

10. Do you think the world is going to end this year?

** Of course not! It’s just changing.

11. If a movie was made based on your life, what actor/actress would play you?

** Natalie Portman. Her leading man would be Ian Somerhalder.

 

Here are my questions for the people I’m tagging:

1.) What is your biggest regret in life?

2.) What makes you angry?

3.) Are you capable of forgiving and forgetting?

4.) What do you consider the biggest fight you’ve ever had in your life?

5.) What is the ugliest part of your personality?

6.) Do you choose to see the best or the worst in people? Why?

7.) Do you think other life forms exist in the universe?

8.) If God were to grant you a wish, what would it be?

9.) What would you do if a stranger threw a spoon at you? (This happened to me!)

10.) You are sky diving and you realize that you can’t open your parachute so, in a few moments you are about to die. What do you think would be your last thoughts?

11.) What will you do tomorrow?

Here are the people I’m tagging:

You Monsters are People

Tom Baker

Addie

As a Linguist

Palm Trees & Bare Feet

Conchsaladesque

Nepaliaustralian

Speaker7

 

24

Yes, tomorrow is my birthday. I have to go to work. I will most probably have dinner by myself because my boyfriend has classes in the evening. Maybe I’ll write another blog tomorrow evening. Then, it would be me, WordPress and the bloggers celebrating my birthday. Oh what fun.

I’m not the type of person who likes to make a big deal out of it. I have an auntie who announces her birthday to everyone a MONTH before the day. Birthdays started to stop being exciting almost at the same time Christmas did (when I was around 13 or 14). It’s not that I don’t like spending time with friends and receiving gifts. I just feel that every time, I have to DECIDE what to do and I have to consider whether my friends will enjoy what I will arrange for us. I remember dreading a birthday party because I’m not at all sure that things will turn out fine.

Nevertheless, I’d rather not miss anything. I want to have that party anyway. Birthdays are a cause for a big celebration. It’s a way of thanking God you’re alive and that you are somebody. You matter to people. The day before yesterday, I decided to have that dinner party with my colleagues. We continued the party at a KTV near my house where we all screamed our lungs out singing “Rolling in the Deep” and “One and Only”. I tried to sing Beyonce’s “Love on Top”. When I listened to her record, I thought it might be possible for me to sing it. Yes, it was possible to sing just the first 3 lines.

I don't really mind posting ugly pictures of myself.

I love blowing the candles on my birthday cake. I believe that wishes made on birthdays have the most probability of becoming true. I can’t remember what I wished last year. The year before that, I was desperately looking for an apartment. I was going to be evicted in 5 days and I still couldn’t find THE apartment. I distinctly remember wishing I could find a clean and cheap apartment near the subway…and I did. The year before that, I wished I could stay in Beijing. I’m still here. I don’t want to reveal my wish this year until it happens. But I am giving myself goals to help it become a reality. I’ll add to this list in the future. The idea is to become a better person and be a little above average. That is, after all, what I set out to accomplish in my life.

1.) Look better, feel better. I am plain Janie. Jeans and Shirts/shorts and shirts are my style. I put comfort above everything else. I also couldn’t afford to buy the clothes I wanted and I didn’t want to abuse my parent’s generosity. Now, I certainly can afford to buy good clothes. It’s time to get stylish!

2.) Start baking. This is really unlikely but I am challenging myself to JUST DO IT.

3.)Work harder.Since I started working, I’ve always been afraid of over-working myself. I’m not physically fit and I’m worried that I’ll get sick if I push myself too hard. I’ve realized that it’s just something you get used to. Rich people didn’t get rich by making time to do nothing!

4.)Study.Learn more about teaching kids.

5.) Let’s get things started. I’ve had plenty of ideas for business but that’s what they’ve always been, ideas. It’s time to act and make them real!

6.) Be more confident. I have self-esteem issues. I may have inferiority complex. I should probably go through some self-help books to get over this.

7.) Plan something big for my 25th Birthday.

 

 

 

Quarreling Lessons

Woman: "This is all your fault!" Man: "My fault???"

It’s hard to sort out my conflicting whirlwind of emotions at the moment. Maybe it’s because of those monthly periods that make women a wee bit more sensitive. My boyfriend and I have been quarreling a lot about random stuff recently. I usually come up with an idea which he would think ridiculous or unreasonable. For some reason, he can’t find a way to let his disagreement be known without resorting to sarcasm. This starts to tick me off. When he sees I got hurt or upset by what he said, he’d get angry as well. He starts ranting about what’s wrong with me and I start to just shut up and imagine ripping his head off or putting my hand through his chest with his heart still beating furiously in my death grip. In reality, I would cry while I keep my mouth shut. Such was the sorry state I was in half an hour ago when I met my boyfriend for lunch before he went to a job interview.

Somehow writing my frustration about this while listening to Nicki Minaj rapping in the background is making me feel better. I still feel like a loser from our fight. He never really understood why I was upset and what it is he did wrong. Much as I want to resolve these issues immediately I figured that some things need time. It’s also a good opportunity to think about what I did wrong and why he’s angry. Since, right now, I feel that I’m not thinking rationally I google searched “How to quarrel properly”. The results are very helpful! It helped me look at quarreling in a new perspective. I’ve been gnawing my lip with worry every time we fight thinking “this is it, one of these days it might be over…”.

Man: "Why can't you understand what I'm trying to say?!"

I’m very happy to read that if done properly, “arguing can actually be very satisfactory and help you to hone your debating and disputing skills (and help you win disputes in the future) and believe it or not a few smaller ‘quarrels’ as opposed to full-blown matches can help to bring you closer together and make you understand each other and each other’s points of views more” – Colleen Crawford. So here are a few very important points to remember whenever you and your partner get into an argument:

1.) Stay calm. As much as we’d all like to throttle our partner’s necks while screaming at them, this will not help us get through to them. Usually, it’s my boyfriend who fails to stay calm when we’re fighting. He lets his emotions get the better of him. He often throws in a few insults and regrets saying them later. Sometimes I can’t help but get taken in his own storm. That’s when things get really ugly and we both end up all wounded from the hurtful words we said. It affects my self-esteem, which certainly won’t make our relationship stronger.

Staying calm helps end the argument leaving both parties unscathed but somehow changed for the better. It helps reach a compromise.

2.) Be eloquent. There are times when I am too upset I’m not in the mood to talk. I would spout a lot of nonsense expecting him to just figure that out for himself. Apparently, all that does is infuriate him because what I said didn’t make any sense. Our argument, then, goes tangent from what the original issue was and goes to how I’m incapable of communicating with him. I think it’s best to shut up or simply say “Can we talk about this later?”. Maybe you can add the word ‘please’ to appease him.

Otherwise, think about what you want to say first before speaking. Even if sometimes it seems that your partner can read your mind, they can’t. Speak your mind and try to say things in a way that’s easy to comprehend. I also think it’s important to speak slowly. This would give the other person time to let all your words sink in.

Man: "Please talk to me. I don't know what else to say."

3.) Never quarrel in presence of other people. I’m guilty of doing this sometimes, especially at the beginning of our relationship. But I’m proud to say that I’ve made a conscious effort not to do this. It’s embarrassing and it makes other people uncomfortable. Besides, quarreling IS a private matter. Nobody should hear what you say to each other.

I’ve seen a lot of couples have at it here in Beijing and it ain’t pretty. Maybe it’s fine if the people that surround you are strangers. I never have to see them again anyway. It is still a bit tasteless to scream at each other on the streets and cry hysterically. Well, maybe it depends on what you’re arguing about, like if you caught the guy cheating on you with your friend. I can think of a couple of scenarios on the streets where the guy ends up bloody on the road. If that’s the case, screw quarreling! Get rid of him immediately. If not, then wait until you get home or somewhere private to talk.

4.) Never let pride get in the way. Keep an open mind. I do this better than anyone. Know when you are wrong and have the courage to apologize. Humans are flawed. You can’t always be right.

5.)Listen. I excel at listening. In fact, I’d rather listen that talk. Some people think they’re always right and that they desperately need to make the other realize this. (go back to number 4) You need to shut up, first. Hear your partner out and acknowledge his ideas. Let him/her know you understand how it feels and then say the word “but”. This is called empathy and it is very useful in strengthening any kind of relationship with any kind of person you interact with. Seriously, the world will be a better place with more empathetic people.

Man: "What was I supposed to do?" Woman: "You should've stayed with me."

6.) Timing. There are times when I bring up issues to my boyfriend as I see them. For example, if we go to the restaurant to celebrate something but it’s full. I would blame him for not thinking ahead to reserve a table and now I’m hungry and we have to wait for a long time before we get to eat. This sparks an argument. Hence, the night is ruined. We would’ve spent it waiting happily and chattering the night away but instead, I had to open my big mouth and start pointing fingers.

Timing is everything. Save your day. If you can delay the argument, do yourself a favor and just do it.

7.) Making up. What’s quarreling without patching up? Other couples have make-up sex, which is all good. But, I think simpler gestures are just as effective. After quarreling, I feel the best way to make up is by being able to happily admit to each other that it’s fine if we fought and that we love each other anyway…while cuddling, of course.

Make love, not war guys.

References:

How to Quarrel Right and Efficiently by Colleen Crawford

How to quarrel properly

Photos from these websites:

How to avoid fights with your partner

Marriage Gems

Sex and Sensibilities

Huffpost Healthy Living

The dust settles

I'm sure my room isn't as messy as this, but this is how I see it.

After months of running all over the place, I’m back where I was last November, before my mom and my cousin brought the holiday storm with them. I’ve been to the Philippines – Bali, Indonesia – Philippines and back. Now, I’m looking at reality again and it ain’t pretty. I need to CLEEEEAAAN. There’s just too many things in my apartment. Most of them are my sister’s and my boyfriend’s. My sister has left Beijing, maybe for good, and she couldn’t bring all of her clothes with her. On the other hand, my boyfriend’s dormitory is too small for all of the stuff he’s not using to fit there so they’re also in my balcony. My apartment is everyone’s friggin’ warehouse.

Oh my gosh! I’m not really the overly organized kind of person, but looking at my room right now with all the clutter makes me want to pull the hair out of my head! I need to throw a few things out. *sighs*

That aside, I’m also feeling stressed out because I feel like I haven’t accomplished much lately. Last year wasn’t exactly what I would call a very productive phase in my life. I’ve spent most of my days reading…science fiction novels. Darn that Sword of truth series! I loved it. I’m a bit sad that I finished reading all the books. I have a big crush on Richard, the novel’s hero and  when I grow up, I want to be just like Kahlan. She’s everything I wish I could be, brave, intelligent and strong. Kahlan’s about the same age as I am though, but she’s accomplished so much! It’s true that our circumstances are drastically different. She’s like royalty in the story, therefore she had more responsibilities and she’s also provided means to do those things. I’ve never had to assassinate anybody though, thank God for that. The story had a lot of politics in it.

I vowed that this year I will make more money. If I want to get married and have kids by the time I’m 27 I need to hustle up and be rich soon. I don’t plan on worrying about where I would get the money for the hospital bills and my baby’s milk. I intend to spend everyday relaxing. According to Dr. John Medina in “The Brain Rules for Baby”, pregnant women should sit back, relax and get pedicures. Stress won’t do the baby any good. I intend to do just that. Oh! I guess I didn’t just read science fiction novels last year.

Enough moping around. Let’s all do what we have to do!

I know it’s a bit late for this…

Bring it on 2012!!! I’m ready!!!

Photo from this website

Calm down Janie

The year of the dragon hasn’t even begun and I’m already receiving good news. Now, I can say without a doubt that next year will be a better year. I can feel it in my weary bones. I can even smell it through my clogged nose.

“Heh! I always come with impeccable timing” – Sickness

Christmas this year was quite fun even though I had to go to work. By this time, in the Philippines, I’d be plugging my ears with cotton balls just so I don’t hear another round of the “Jingle Bells” song. They don’t celebrate here in China so I find myself playing Christmas songs at home the whole month. I wouldn’t have suspected it was Christmas if not for the countdown on my friends’ status messages in Facebook. My younger self would have been terribly disappointed without the gift-giving and holiday vacation that goes with the season. I’ve realized years ago that Christmas is really just for kids. This occasion only made money from my wallet disappear faster than I can say “Merry Christmas”. But no matter, it’s a good excuse to spend in excess and lavish our loved ones with pretty things and cool gadgets that are wee bit over our usual monthly budget.  And what better Christmas gift for myself than letting my mom come over for the holidays? Nothing tastes better than mom’s home-cooked meals!

I’m sorry I haven’t been writing in my blog as often as I should. There’s so much to write about. I’ve been busy buying things I lack in my apartment. I’ve decided that it’s time for me to learn a new cooking skill – baking, so I bought a little electric oven.  I’ve succeed in toasting bread with butter and sugar. My sister baked brownies, albeit the one that comes in a box. I want to try baking cookies next time. I’ve also been busy nursing an addiction to reading Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series. I read in the subway (when it isn’t the rush hour, mind you), in between classes and when I’m finished with work, and in the toilet (which I never did before). Just when I thought I’ve picked out all the good books among the 900 plus ebooks my cousin downloaded for me, I opened Goodkind’s book. They are pretty good too. There’s a bit of philosophy involved in the guise called “The Wizard’s Rules”. I’ve been wanting to write about it since I finished the first book but I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the next book. I have consciously made an effort to take a break from reading today so I can study my newest gadget, courtesy of my dad of course, the Dell streak 7″. I’m using this to type my blog entry now. I’m so happy. I’m getting really excited about next year. Although before the year ends, I’m going to see my long lost cousin, who is now working in Singapore. We haven’t seen each other in almost 5 years. We have a lot of catching up to do.

This might be my last blog entry for the year of 2011. I also can’t write when there are people hovering around. I feel exposed. Anyway, I’d like to thank wordpress.com for giving me a voice. I thank the bloggers who have come across my blog by accident for taking the time to share your own thoughts with me. It has also been a privilege to read about your stories. It seems that I don’t only attract good company and friends in real life but also in the internet. Come to think of it, I met my boyfriend through Facebook. But that’s a story I’ll save for next time.

Happy holidays everyone! See you in 2012!

It ain’t the end of the world.

*Evil laugh*

The other day, I was reading through random blogs from freshly pressed and came across this list of favorite films. This could’ve been my very own list except for a few ones I didn’t watch. I love Disney movies! I cried when Bambi’s mom got shot in the woods and when Little Foot’s mom died. And yes! I also cried when Mufasa died. I know, I’m such a crybaby. It was after reading this blog that I watched “The Lion King” again. However this time, I sympathized with the villain. There are one or two things we can learn from them. They’re generally persistent, determined, quite creative in constructing their evil plots and above all, very very ambitious. I figured I should list a few of my favorite villains.

1.) Scar

“Run. Run away Simba, and never return…“

*Simba runs* Scar, to the three hyenas: “Kill him“

I love Uncle Scar! He wins best manipulator. Sometimes, it’s handy to be able to skillfully manipulate other people into thinking that they decided to do something by themselves. This is very tricky as I tend to say what I want outright. It’s just really saying the right words and omitting some facts.

2.) Ursula

“Poor unfortunate soouuls, in pain, in need.”

I’ve always envied women with voluptuous bodies. Ursula took advantage of weak and hopeless people like Ariel. We have to admit that Ariel was too naive for her own good and just plain stupid. Ursula would have been a successful business woman in the 21st century. All the terms in her contract ensure that she wins. She takes away Ariel’s voice, and then asks Ariel to make Prince charming fall in “love” with her within THREE days. Ariel didn’t even bargain! I’d have said three months.

3.) Jafar

“I think it’s time to say good bye to Prince A-boo boo”

I just love his sinister smile. He did a good job of befriending his enemy. If only he wasn’t very greedy. He could’ve succeeded in becoming the new Sultan. 

4.) Lord Voldemort

“Avada kedavra!”

Voldemort should be commended for his resiliency and intelligence. Harry Potter and his friends only succeeded in defeating You-Know-Who in the SEVENTH book! He is also bold and daring. People feared him. Maybe when I’m the boss it would do me good if my employees feared me a little? Or maybe not.

5.) Godzilla

She was just protecting her babies! Their lives were threatened by the pesky humans. She was so fierce. Every parent should be as tough as she is when it comes to protecting their kids.

 

Who is your favorite villain?